The Day I Almost Dug Holes

So,  I woke up early the other day because I wanted to get to my master farmer's farm early before the sun got hot.  The plan was to meat up with Mamadou (The Master Farmer) Hildawg and Marie and dig a whole bunch of holes for corn.  At 7:30 I get to the garage.  At 9:30 I can finally leave the garage, and at about 10:15 I arrive at the farm.  After a few mintues of goofing around we assign ourselves different jobs to do.  I was going to dig with Mamadou while Marie measured out where the hole were going to be placed, and gave the machete to Hildawg to cut down some shrubbery (she needs to practice how to properly handle a machete too she wasn't very good, but she has potential).

Mamadou At The Farm.

So, By like 10:30 we are starting work.  If you know anything about working in Africa 10:30 in the morning is not a good time to start work cause its starting to get really hot.  Then Mamadou and I start digging holes and realize that the soil is almost as hard as cement because it hasn't rained in weeks.  after digging two hole I look at him and say, this isnt working.  It is way to hot, and the soil is way to hard.  This just isnt going to work out today.  he agreed and we left.  of course by then it was getting close to noon and  it is almost impossible to find a car going anywhere between 11:00 and 3:00 in Senegal, especially on a friday.   We go and sit with mamadou and have a very delicious lunch of rice and veggies and beef.
So, after waiting a few hours we finally are called over to the car.  and we sit in the car...and sit...and sit for maybe an hour and we wait for the car to get filled up with people.  in the oversized van that we are in,we are in the back where the seats are parallel with the sides of the road facing each other. in front of me I have marie and a man weilding a sword which is poorly hidden beneath his road, and will not let me see it.  to my left is a man wearing some very nice clothes and bling and a paper bag of meat, and on the other side of him is Hildawg.  Now this man on my left seems to be a bit out of place.  wearing really nice clothing, has some bling on, and onto the van he brought on a TV wrapped in a sheet, brand new fly kicks (nice looking shoes), a very cool truckers hat, and some new bottles of cologne.  This man was also wearing a jacket because he was cold. (I was in a T-shirt and shorts because it was around 100 degrees). The man opens this dripping-with-grease bag of meat and attempts to eat.  I look at this and can't believe he is going to risk having sticky fingers in such an environment (theres no water to clean up with) and I proceed to ask him why he is eating pork. he tells me it is mutton (thats french for sheep) and I tell him that I saw the restaurant earlier this morning and that they had killed a pig.  he doesn't believe me and continues to eat his mutton.  he then offers me some, and I tell him no I do not eat pork only mutton.  he laughs.  then he realizes the fatal mistake he had made, and after two hunks of mutton he tries to wrap up his meat and shoves it into the sheet with the TV.  then he looks down at his nasty greasy sticky hands.  Does this man worry about sticky fingers? no.  he rubs the mutton grease into his hands as if it were lotion.  then he begins to dance.  yes dance in the back of the van.  the man with the sword is not entirely pleased.  The mutton man then tries to dance with marie who really isnt having it and I tell him that she is my wife and that if he touches her again I will beat him.  he agrees to stop touching her, but continues dancing.  once he stops dancing he takes out the bag with the fly kicks and cologne and begins to spray me! I am not entirely amused but it does smell nice.  he then proceeds to spray all of us (and he is laying it on thick) and then sprays himself. then trys to spray me again.  I however stop him.  Then his attention focuses back on the girls.  and he asks for Hildawg.  I tell him that I will give her to him for 500,000 cfa, 10 cows, 3 goats, 3 sheep, and a kilo of rice.  He agrees and said that tomorrow morning we would do the arrangements.  I had kept asking him what his work was after this, and he would not divulge this information which leads me to believe that not only was this guy hopped up on drugs, but he was also involved in trading.
So, there we are smelling nice (kinda) and really want to leave, and so finally I go up to the driver and tell him that we are in a hurry and need to leave.  apparently it worked! and we were off.  on the road a lady began to talk to us, and offered me her baby.  I respectfully declined the offer with the excuse that I was travelling with my two wives and that Marie is my first wife and Hildawg is my second wife, and that I do not need anymore children because Marie has given me 3 boys (Aliou, Samba, and Lemiyne) and Hildawg has given me 2 boys (Demba, and Mamadou).  She completely understood why I did not need another baby.
We eventually got to Tamba to rest and wait some rain to fall, so that I can go back to the master farm and do what I do best, dig holes.

-Mike